The Inner Scent

It’s the smell of our soul. It’s the fragrance that guides us to choose a direction, every moment. Lost in it, we come to taste our humanness and non-humanness more intensely. It’s a marijuana that frees us from the maze of mind and teaches us to use it beautifully. Even a whiff of it can strip us from our outer garb of untruth and intrigue us to find truth. It’s the panacea to our psychological sufferings. More we find it in us, more we find it in others and more we realize that it’s all the same. Alright, enough of being poetic, let me tell you this deal is very raw and real, just that presently we remain so sucked in in our minds that we immediately take “us” as our “mind” and refute anything that seems to be shaking this definition.

Though occasionally we are graced upon to taste this scent. Sometimes, when we fall in love with someone or something, sometimes when we have a chance to squeeze a solitary moment to read a book when it’s raining and sometimes when we have a heartfelt talk or time with friends or family. And, after that we wonder why it passed so soon and we are back to the tortures of mind. But the memory of joyful experiences sticks and we keep struggling and repressing all the thoughts and feelings of fear, anxiety, depression, meaninglessness in a deal to clench it back! It’s a very simple “realization” that by doing it we further build up on our existing “imbalances” instead of venting them out and that’s the moment when we become open to whatever arises in us at a moment, thus releasing our imbalances and falling in alignment with the life whose nature is, essentially and innately, love, joy and peace. Even the aspects of life which seems unjustifiable and agonizing from limited perspective of mind can be seen as an act of grace by life when we grow in awareness and come out of our deluded thinking.

This imbalance in the undetachable aspects of life becomes the cause of resistance we impose on our everyday actions and decisions, and thus blocks the effortless unfolding of expressions from and experiences for us. Wondering how we conceived this imbalance – it is because of the unconscious living we have been into till now. When living unconsciously we tend to think, feel and act based on the conditioning and programming that is layered upon us by society, peers and surrounding and thus suppressing all the natural responses that emerge from the deeper intelligence of life. It so happens that we start to take them as “norm” and never challenge them even on receiving several wake up calls through fierce suffering and life situations. At this point it becomes a matter of attitude, and when we choose to set on this journey of finding truth we realize that it’s not about tussling with the life, but coming to a friendly term with it and becoming an effortless participant in the change that is already happening around us constantly and unstoppably.

Life is a balancing force and when we come in contact with it with all our vulnerability and fears, it balances us as well. Though it is not a sweet ride, we come to meet our fears unshackled, our ego is pounded with hard punches and all the attached realities that are not harmonious to our true nature crumbles down so that the seed of a new way of living can be planted in our heart. Our “relationship” with everything, as gross as people, objects and events and as subtle as thoughts and emotions is shaped in the mold of spontaneity. In essence, the inner freedom we attain lets us engage with physicality more vibrantly, but before that, for a period, we need to consciously dedicate ourselves to reach to a balance and become one with the life as it flows.

If we relax and observe our thoughts for a while, we instantly realize that they are mostly repetitive or fearful, either dwelling in past or planning for future. Their movement in the mind is so torrential that we have no gaps to see ourselves from a distance and for the life’s intelligence to creep in. Without a moment of relief we keep “reacting” to our outside instead  of “responding” to it from a deeper inspiration. From this realization we come to understand the importance of reducing unnecessary movement of mind by relaxing and letting go of our addiction to get our “attention” or “awareness” trapped in a thought as soon as it arises. With time our awareness grows stronger, the older perspectives about love, relationships, work, society etc. break away, and we become open to life as it unfurls to us.

On observing the nature around us acutely, we can easily spot a smoothness in its working. It is not struggling to be and there is an unmeasurable intelligence, incomparable to our mind’s intelligence, running this universe. Since we are also part of the same nature, we are also, without any prejudice, “selected” to receive it. Only with this realization our perspective starts shifting from that of “struggle” to “effortlessness”. All our actions become tinged with a sense of relaxedness, in both when we are active and when we are lounging. Though for sometime, we need to relax consciously for the life to do her act of balancing without any friction and free us from our “stored” imbalances in thoughts, emotions and perspectives. On this, I love the following lines by Franz Kakfa,

“You need not leave your room.

Remain sitting at your table and listen.    

You need not even listen, simply wait.  

Become quiet, and still, and solitary.        

The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked.  

It has no choice.        

It will roll in ecstasy at your feet.” – Franz Kafka

In this post, I’ve expressed the essence of my experience and understanding till now and in future I will detail out some of the pointers above. Wondering why I’m writing all this? Honestly, my intention to write is coming both from a place of deep inspiration and my “ego” to impress you. As this journey will roll by, I know the words will come more effortlessly and inspired from what “I” as consciousness wants to converse with “us” as consciousness.