The Art of Letting Go and Control

This tendency of trying to be in control of everything, be it our reality, thoughts, feelings or sufferings, or call it the creator mindset is by the design of human mind, as a help to survive in the planet earth and also to realise the human’s potential to create as the life does itself so abundantly.

A man is born with it, but since our mind is a programmable organ, as the time passes by, and in the years of our unconscious living, its societal and environmental conditioning and genetic carry over, turns it into an overdrive, where it loses its connection from its “true nature” and from the natural guidance that comes from the realm beyond mind in the form of inspiration and intuition. This overdrive results into excessive and misaligned momentum of thoughts, accumulation of imbalanced emotional energy of love, fear, hatred, joy, sex and boredom, and the deluded thinking or believes about several aspects of life and about oneself. These become the primary motivating forces in ones robotic living, for ones day to day actions and responses, incongruent dreams and desires, and for misaligned choices or manifestations of career, relationships or wealth in ones life, without any real sense of inner freedom and choice.

It so happens then that any form of control that one tries to impose also comes from this place of overdrive or imbalance, and consequently, it fuels it further rather than helping one to move towards a solution and balance. Our struggle to fit in, to fight or flight in every situation instead of understanding and befriending it, the lack driven and competitive inspiration that we choose and follow from our surrounding sometimes, the unintelligent chase for happiness instead of experiencing life in its totality, posing a negative attitude towards any happening in life that feels bad from mind’s narrow perspective without realising the learning and growth aspects available from it and distrusting life’s intelligence to orchestrate events for our well being, and even the forced meditation and spiritual practices to run away from our sufferings and from the fear of living, are few examples of imbalanced control that we exercise frequently.

Other than some light moments, every now and then we feel that something is not right and many things are not in place, only because we feel disconnected from our true self and overburdened by this overdrive or imbalance. Though this unconscious living is nothing to feel negative about because it’s just a milestone in this journey of growth and a way for life to self-realise, one can not know beauty without knowing ugliness. Hence without pouting about imbalance that lies in us, we are always free to make an inner choice to move towards alignment and balance. Life is also supportive through its fierce grace by giving us occasional wake up calls by orchestrating events that shake us sometimes and take our sufferings to our capacity to bear.

If you go on counting you can count innumerable things that feel off balance to you in your life, and if you follow techniques and practices to cure each one of them, I guess your whole life will be spent in fixing it without you ever living your true potential. Though practices also have a value initially but you can never remain hung on them. For example, you can not be loving and compassionate by practicing and forcing it on you, neither can you find a balanced expression of hatred and anger in you in terms of inculcating a healthy sense of competition and stopping you to be too meek or a doormat for everyone by suppressing these two indispensable elements of life. You can only fall in balance and let the life heal all your imbalances in totality with its touch. Then the love ensues, compassion nurtures, joy happens, and hatred, anger, fear and sexuality also find a balanced expression through you. For this you need to learn the art of letting go for a while, which is a prerequisite before learning the art of conscious control.

To let your imbalance or overdrive to fall in balance you have to surrender to life or let go of everything for sometime. By letting go I don’t mean you to become a recluse but to be more easy, aware and relaxed on you so that life force can do the inner work on you without you acting as a resistance to it. Understand that this is a process, not an instant recipe and it takes time.

In the state of letting go, you need to allow all kind of thoughts of fear, uncertainty, insecurity, hatred, anger, anxiety, worry without getting attached with them, see them in your gradually growing awareness and thusly letting their excessive momentum to slow down because now you have stopped giving your chronic attention or interest to them that actually was the main reason for their constant empowerment.

You also have to let all the suppressed emotional energy vent out through you by fully allowing it. It will not be easy and sometimes very painful when this energy passes through you. If you feel sad you don’t fight sadness, if you feel depressed you allow depression fully and feel it, anger is allowed, hatred is allowed, and over the time the imbalanced surplus of these energies is released and they find their balanced expression. That’s where some inner courage and commitment to find balance is needed.

This state of allowing will also cause some external realities that are not match to your true nature but were attracted by the imbalanced vibration inside you to crumble down. Your mind can interpret them as negative and get panicked, but you have to allow this sense of panic and fear.

As you start getting connected with your true nature you also start becoming privy to life’s wisdom, which is unimaginably vaster than your mind’s intelligence. Doesn’t it run the whole universe? This brings to you understanding, sometimes as an inner realisation and sometimes through some external source, that shows the truth of your deluded beliefs which you were holding onto so firmly before, and thus causing psychological suffering to yourself.

So the bottom line is to have some time by your choice to go through this phase of total allowing, grow in your awareness, and let the life take complete care of you. This is not a practice, rather it is an attitude of total openness towards what life brings. With the time rolling by, you will start feeling an inner stability and a sense of fearlessness towards whatever situation life unfurls to you. You become spacious inside.

Through the state of allowing, when you have fallen in balance and seen your natural make up, and when the undue mind momentum and uncontrollable emotional energies are not there, you are in a state to consciously work with any thought that arises in you fearlessly, make a choice that is purely driven by inspiration or that feels right as per the wisdom of moment, and shape your natural desires or reality with a balanced combination of your free will and the life’s guidance (destiny). Since in this state you feel merged with the life in totality you have the flexibility to accommodate both your desires and life’s broader intentions and you don’t feel an egoic stubbornness to work off your feet to make something happen and suffer from it if it does not, because now you inherently know that life’s nature is not lack oriented, in fact it revels in abundance. You understand the importance of loss for the creation of new, and are spacious enough inside not to be too clingy or needy and move on, not in the sense of rejection or indifference but out of love. You stop being an emotional leech towards circumstances and people, and also don’t lose your sensitivity at all and are free to take a stance. But this time there’s a freshness and openness in it. Some of these natures are very difficult for your mind to imagine conceptually, but you can sense and live them from this place of balance for yourself.

Hence it’s very important to not just keep running through the fuel of imbalanced mind, but squeeze some time for yourself, to introspect, to understand life, to do the inner work on you for a while, not for anything else but simply because it will enhance the experience of your journey in this physical plane. It’s all a matter a choice. Living with suffering is also a choice, which was made unconsciously by your being, and choosing to live without suffering is also a choice that you can make consciously.

At the present moment your life situation can be anything, good, bad or extremely bad, it doesn’t matter, you are always free to make an inner choice. As the Viktor E. Frankl writes it from his own experience in Nazi concentration camps,

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

It’s easy to understand the value of learning the art of letting go before learning and exercising the art of control in all its might. You should know yourself with all your inherent and natural qualities, preferences, proclivities and desires, before you can make aligned choices and have a wholesome experience of life. Haven’t you seen how long a lion walk surreptitiously, let the deer play freely and learn about its natural movement, before hunting it down.

Once you become honest and aware of your own imbalance and embark on this journey of total allowing even if with a small step of giving yourself just fifteen minutes a day to sit silently and allow, it gets the fuel of your choice and your life start unfolding realisations, inspiration, events and synchronicities, over the time. This release or the act of balancing happens in cycles of bliss and pain. This process ensues its own dynamics but rest assured you will end up with minimal suffering and a balanced experience and expression of and through your life. I’ll also try to share my own experience and understanding in future posts.

Also, I have written it as per my present level of awareness, understanding, experience and research, and I will get more clarity with the ongoing growth and maturity. If any of these words resonate in your heart, you can follow it up, otherwise you are free to move in the direction that life inspires you to at this moment. All of us are condensation of same life energy and are one, therefore you will have your own unique journey towards growth and realisation. The pointers in this article are just helpful outside guidance.

Your thoughts and experiences are welcome.

Note 1: Their is no set standard for balance, only you can be utterly honest what feels like a balance in your being.

Note 2: To connect to your true nature, initially, you can sit daily for 15 to 30 minutes in a comfortable position, with eyes closed and totally relaxed, and allow the movement of all kind of thoughts and emotions happen through you without being involved with them. You can call it detached awareness. To explain it easily it is like becoming a zombie, everything is happening, but you can’t do anything.

Also understand, that you are not forcing yourself to allow or to be aware. You just “are”.