Hallelujah

Believe it or not pain can go deeper than love, and it is that beautiful sensation of sadness which we always run away from, when felt in its plain nakedness, without clinging to any idea of it being good or bad, that can crack open our heart. It’s a reviving heart attack!

If for once, you embrace, you welcome it in you, you will know it was love only, in the disguise of sadness, came to see and shove your heart into the hearth of life.

My heart wants to tear into pieces and those pieces want to flung apart when pain comes, when I listen to Hallelujah in Hannah’s voice, but what should I call it, if not love, that holds it, that binds it again and again. Seated in this roller coaster of life that swings me from ‘falling in love’ to ‘failing out of love’ so often, I am speechless to describe it, but somehow it all gets summed up and scattered in front of my eyes everytime you accompany my pain.

Listen to this hauntingly beautiful song! This is based on the poetry written by Leonard Cohen.

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I Love Adulthood…

In those moments which fall on my lap, sometimes, and many times, which make me feel alive, also make me feel that adulthood is such an awesome time!

I can still be innocent, I can still love without a reason, I can fall and play, I can fight, I can create, I can destroy, I can laugh insanely, I can smile slyly, I can enjoy sadness, I can get angry, and I can get dirty too.

I have more matureĀ intelligence and a power to make conscious choices. You can’t shove a concept or idea under my throat deliberately, my consciousness acts as a graceful guidance to me. I remember, how helplessly I had crammed that an atom is made of protons, nuetrons and electrons or this thought that to have something you have to work your arse off. Now, I can think logically and feel intuitively if it really the way life is or moves.

You shoved so much physics, maths, history, religion, morality, ethics, under my throat, in my childhood, and thereon too when I was in sleep, and now when I grow everyday, I can see the truth and beauty of all these from my own eyes, experience and awareness.

This present time, this being an adult now, has so much in it. I don’t need to remain hung on the memories of childhood (not that you stop revisiting the photos from the yore :D), and the dreams of its return.

A beautiful childhood has already gone and a beautiful adulthood is hitting the shore of life’s sea-some vastness, every single moment.

Undoubtedly, there is no comparison of two stages, it will be similar to compare a seed with a tree. Every seed wants to turn into a tree, irrespective of the challenges that wild wind will bring. šŸ™‚