Frailty of Flirting…

That tingling and tenacious, half love and half mischief filled sensation, rising up from a corner in the heart, shaping and spreading, until it hits a neural cell in the brain, and then we flirt or fail! How many times you had a sweet bite of flirting and how many times you blew it off? A smile, slyly.

The desire to flirt is the desire to connect with someone with an adventurous outset that can end up tenderly or tragically both. It spawns when we see a person and he or she gently touches or roughly tickles a sweet spot in us. We suddenly start wanting to invade his or her decorum of personality and presence, and buy a ticket, with the initial conversation or act, to a journey of uncharted and fictional romantic experiences, and in a jiffy our imagination and fear both start to grow wings if she happens to respond with a smile, coyly. Victor Hugo writes it with a blatant charm,

“You are adorable, mademoiselle. I study your feet with the microscope and your soul with the telescope.” ~ Victor Hugo, Les Miserables

I wonder why our steps stagger, eyelashes flicker and body flinches at such a moment and we fail. It’s a matter of courage, such a trite answer! We fail because of the fear of the clash of our egos, the defeat on defending it, the unconscious disposition to be strategic in everything we pursue and the failing of it, the doubt in our ability to make a joyful and innocent connection, the lack of confidence in our sexuality, and the unwieldy rush of thoughts of expectations and rejection both, and many times just because one believes that flirting is against his or her ethics. Essentially, it is the lack of openness and the load of fluffiness that hinders us to form a true connection.

Flirting is bad, a nuisance, and a crummy way of treating people. Definitions and more definitions that have infested our minds! I wonder how a connotation brewed up by people and attached to a word can influence our intentions, howsoever genuine and beautiful they are, only because that word also pops up in our mind as soon as the intention does in heart. Then starts the war of thoughts, an epic battle between Should and Should Not, that our attention is so fond of and is fetched into in a trice. Flirting is not just passing rash remarks on someone or show of ones antics or a mean to quell ones neediness or loneliness. It is approaching and meeting someone as it is, with whatever is flowing in ones heart at that moment, dropping all the armors to defend oneself, enjoy the inception of a connection and let it go if he or she is not resonating with you and feeling coerced.

We are beautiful people and I don’t intend to call any kind of malicious mischief or derogatory doing towards anyone as flirting. In fact, flirting is an act of love out of an innocent desire to experience a human connection with some risk and some fun. It seems that the fabric which we are made of was first deeply marinated in the potion of love before giving it any form and hence what we attract towards is very unique to our fabrics but the desire to immerse in that oneness is immense and inherent in all of us and human body and mind are two consummate facilitators to it.

At the core, as consciousness, we are fearless beings, ready to take up any adventure, hence a desire can sprout in us even without our permission. After this, based on our societal and genetical conditioning of believes, morals, ethics and delusions we start to dampen or empower our desires. We must realize that desires are very powerful fractal of life and they are precursors to any kind of physical manifestation that takes place. Sometime let a desire arise in you defying gravity, feel it flowing through your spine, feel vulnerable at your heart when it reaches there, bear the bombarding of arguments of mind, burn yourself in your desire, and if it is just the spurting of your needy and lacking mind it will turn into ashes, otherwise what remains is a true desire, red and glistening. Feel the desire to flirt when it is there, and flirt, and get flirted too, enjoy both sides of the table. A grin, affectionately.

Can you see the beauty in flirting tearing the veils on your eyes? Lets approach and meet a stranger next time with a brutal honesty of intention and innocence. Lets not get strategic for a while and defend our masks, lets not talk things that we do to avoid talking things that can touch us deeply, that can catch us off the gaurd, in front of our fears, naked. Lets snuggle down in the lap of life, shed our pretensions, heal our imbalances, and our eyes become chalice of truth, face become a caressing invitation, words become mirrors, and the presence become perfume of love. Lets fall into the lightness of flirting without falling apart, lets succumb to that inborn calling for charm. Lets flirt some and fly some. Lets flirt just because we want to, for its simplicity, for the joy of it. Some beautiful lines from Janice,

“He flashed the warmest smile I’d ever seen, and my heart felt comforted. Maybe he saw my insecurities, my fears. Maybe he knew God still had a lot of work to do in my life before I’d be good girlfriend material. Or maybe, just maybe, he saw beyond all that and simply wanted to flirt with me instead of rehearse for the big night.

I did my best to relax…and let him.”  ~ Janice Thompson, Fools Rush In

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